Whew.

Flying as a family of FIVE!

I went to Target yesterday and it was so quiet I could hear voices in my head.  No, seriously, for almost 7 weeks straight I have spent all my waking minutes with 2, then 3 needy, talkative children. Constantly in demand, constantly asked questions, barraged by little people and all the background noise that comes with them.

Then.  Quiet. My brain didn't even know what to do with the silence so it just rambled on with voices filtering in and out of my consciousness. Taking away the silence.

I think that's exactly where I'm at right now.  I just did something huge.

Huge.

First time flyer!

But there are only a  few moments when I've paused, and said, 'I just lived in Ukraine for 6 weeks while adopting a child that is the fruition of a 12 year long dream."  Because as soon as I stop and say that, and then look around to see if that actually happened, it's too much.  The silence is overwhelming.  I need to put away laundry, buy baby wipes, feed Max. Background noise breaks through and seeps into the contemplative moments.  And of course I'm completely exhausted.  Jet lag seeps into everything I do-in fact, I fell asleep in between writing that sentence and then one above!

Before I fall asleep again, I want to share the last moments of our adoption:  the journey home.

Thursday morning we woke and in darkness drove to the airport while listening to the news that Putin had officially invaded Ukraine.  Nikolai was kind enough to help with our luggage and after we made it through security Bard and I drank lattes while watching them load our luggage onto the plane.   This was really happening, we were taking Max home with us!  It didn't even seem real, Cici had asked the night before if we were still allowed to keep Max.

Yes.

The flight to Frankfurt was uneventful Lufthansa airlines plied us with pacifier holders and puppets. Germany has got this capitalism thing down. Of course they were trying to make up for the fact that once in Frankfurt they would make us disembark onto the tarmac and load onto an over full bus that delivered us right back to the terminal we had spent seven hours in just six weeks ago.   Evelyn said, "Wouldn't it be funny if we watched Frozen here again, just like we did before?" No.  It.  Would.  Not.

Then, to really make sure we did not buy into that German efficiency stereotype, they made us carry our luggage down three flights of stairs, onto another bus, off to the tarmac, and up another flight of stairs where a flight attendant tried to give me a Lufthansa pacifier holder and Cars beach ball.

Listen lady...

Now for the ten hour flight. The girls were in movie heaven.  And aside from the fact that I didn't sleep, the food was death in my mouth disgusting, and my poor little boy had no idea what it meant to be rocked to sleep, or why I would dare try to put anything even remotely lukewarm in his mouth-the flight went pretty well.  And if I wanted to feel bad for myself, I could just look at the lady in front of me who had three children the same ages as our own.  By herself.  And they did great.

Dang German efficiency.

Bring me my Mcnuggets!

We were all exhausted but exhilarated as the plane touched down and we cheered to welcome America's newest citizen-Max Luippold.  Who marked the occasion by sleeping.  See, he's already a typical American child-ungrateful ;) Customs and immigration were really not that bad, it was just that by that point we'd been awake for 20 hours straight-after only 4 hours of sleep.  But they welcomed Max to America and off we went, loading three children into our car for the first of 8 million times!

Max arrived to his new home, met his new grandma and grandpa, and ate his first meal  an American citizen-berry mix and oat cereal.  Hey, give me a beak, I'll get the kid to McDonalds as soon as I can!  He didn't know it, but he had just walked into the first loving home he's ever known.  Went to sleep in a bed that was bought especially for him, and was fed by family who will not rotate out every few months but stay and love him forever.

I don't know if he's ever felt love like that, I don't even know if you have, but let me tell you, there's nothing like it in the world. We walked into our home and were welcomed by Ukrainian decorations.  Big sister banners over the girls doors, our first family photo framed and on the mantle, frozen meals in the fridge, snacks for us and Max on the counter. After enduring three hours off World War 3 to get the girls to stay up and eat dinner, we all crashed and had a good night's sleep.  I woke and decided to stress about things I needed for Max.  We were almost out of wipes.  I only had two bowls.  He didn't have any more clean onesies.  Then I remembered the amazing ladies who had thrown me a baby shower the weekend before we left.  I looked through the gifts.  Oh, wipes.  Oh, bowls.  Bottles.  Toys. Clothes. Snacks.  I sat in my room, looking at all the gifts, at his welcome home sign decorated with the Ukrainian flag, and cried.

Max, this is love.

Ukrainian Love

I spent a $120 at Target on baby food,  clothes, cereal, bibs, and more.  And paid for it all with gift cards. And cried. I checked my email (Hello Verizon SIM card, welcome back!) and saw people signing up to bring us meals over the next week.  And cried.  On the way to Target I drove past two ladies sitting outside a coffee shop.  It brought tears to my eyes because they just don't even know how blessed they are to live in a country that is not at war, that is not bankrupt, that is not in fear.  We are all blessed.  And I am blessed most of all.

When you step outside of yourself and follow a path that cannot be walked alone, you give people the opportunity to walk with you. And there is no fellowship sweeter than that of friends who are really, truly, there for each other.

This is love.