Fix You

I can't stop the rain

From falling down on you again

Mondays are terrible and as I sit here crying on the couch I think this Monday is the worst of all.  Because I did something terrible today.  I told one of the kindest and most generous people I have ever met that I was taking someone who is precious to her away.  Far away.  And she will not see him anymore.  Mondays will become terrible for her. And it does not matter that we will send letters and make phone calls.  It does not matter that when he is old enough we hope to visit Ukraine.  And it does not matter that we have bought her books to inscribe for him, videos to show him, letters to write for him, and that the first letters he can write, will be sent to her. Because it's all just not fair.

I can't stop the rain

But I will hold you til it goes away

So I did the only thing you can do when reminded of the great tragedies that exist in our world.  The deep hurts that seem timeless and cruel.  I cried.  And as I sat on the couch, sobbing, ten feet from my sleeping girls who have never known pain in their short yet blessed lives, I wished for a world that was different.  A world where families stood together, not split apart.  Lives that could encourage and give, not tear down and turn away; blind with anger or indifference.  But I cried because I do not live in that world.

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And miles away, I know she cried with me. I know she has tried to fix everything and I know she wants peace in her heart and her family. And she cried as she walked in the door this morning because she saw us and knew she had a little more time. Then I took that time away from her. And really, she has so little else to hold on to. Yes, I know it's not my fault..  As I cried I clung to the truth that I know cleanses hurts and takes away their time. I pray that she can rest in the arms of truth..  That rest does help the grief, but it will still come, in waves of grief over all of us throughout this journey, for years to come.  Because something is very, very broken.

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Adoption is not the solution to these problems.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't adopt.  You should. Because there are too many children in every country, all over the world who are waiting for someone to love them. Many of them don't even know they are waiting, because they cannot grieve something they never had.  Fight for them.  Give them a voice. Touch their lives with your hand, with your money, if you can't open up your home, open up your heart. Do whatever it takes.  Let your heart break for them.  Because someone's should.  And because someone's heart broke for you.

My soul longs for you

My soul longs for you

Nothing else will do

Nothing else will do

I believe you will come like the rain

I believe you will come like the rain, I believe it

So let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain

Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain