So this was Christmas. Hmm, how many musical references do you think I can fit in one blog? ; ) Last spring Bard and I were discussing the possibility of being pregnant around this time (contrary to popular belief, there are no "accidents"-if you are surprised that you are pregnant, then we need to have a chat!) I was really unsure about being pregnant/possibly delivering right in the middle of the holiday season. But for several reasons, one apparently I need to let go of control, we decided to just see what would happen. Nine months later. Since I've now made it through Christmas, and almost to next year-although I'm not sure I'll make that yet-I feel pretty good. Yes, there were really hard moments, filled with back pain, heart burn, utter exhaustion, and being overwhelmed, but fortunately that did not take away from Christmas. Even with heartburn I was still able to eat the yummy food! I really wanted to enjoy Christmas as a family. We've established many traditions, from Zoolights to holiday baking, from a Christmas Eve present to White Elephant gift parties. I love these times. I love the music, the memories, the food, the thought, and yes, the busyness. And I'm so grateful that I got to experience it all with the people I love. Including the one that has given me thirty extra pounds to carry around while doing it all ; )
As I sit here, we're getting ready to take down our tree, the carseat is in the car and each of our belongings are packed and ready for overnight stays. The baby's room is done-complete with Bard's mom's Christening Dress hanging on the wall-a Christmas present from Bard's grandma that helped me finish the room because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to put on the walls-beautiful! Evelyn is playing with her new presents, we've packed away some of her old toys-some for the baby and some to give to "boys and girls who don't have very many toys." I've finished some last work emails, and know that even if I went into labor tonight, three months of maternity leave are set up to go fairly smoothly. And last night I spent a hundred dollars at Target buying last minute baby supplies that were not totally needed but gave me peace of mind. I probably shouldn't go back to Target til after the baby is born!
I feel content. Yes, when I was walking up the hill at Zoolights, a block behind Bard and Evelyn because I had to stop every few minutes due to stabbing pain, I did wonder why I had thought being this pregnant over Christmas was a good idea. Yes, when I thought I might be going into labor on Christmas Eve eve and was running around ironing angel costumes, labeling work supplies, and dusting the bedroom dresser, I thought, this is terrible! But somehow, those moments pass. And the moments we are left with are ones of gratitude-at seeing a bigger plan, at knowing that it will be okay, at the thought of Joy to the World and Peace on Earth.
Christmas was great. I ate a ton of fudge and somehow managed to lose a pound! Okay, more than that, it was a celebration with family and friends. It was watching Evelyn's eyes light up as she gave Bard his present. It was standing with family, in candlelight, singing Silent Night. It was wrapping that last stocking on Christmas Eve and knowing that it would be opened in just a few hours. It was knowing that next Christmas I will be doing it all with my second daughter as well, teaching her the traditions and watching her experience the joy.
And so what if I had to scoot the chair back from the table a few extra inches in order to get up after Christmas Dinner? Didn't everybody?!
