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| Signing kids in, Discovery's first Sunday |
I love change and I hate change. It's exciting and new, a rush of discovery and the promise of hope. But I immerse myself in history, both global and personal and I cling to the familiar, the known. Which is probably why I hate quitting. Anything, good or bad, I will keep doing it until I am past the point of exhaustion rather than throw in the towel. So it was just as much a shock to me as it was to anyone when I decided to quit my job.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which was planted.
But even though the decision had to be ripped from me like a tree, planted by streams of water, whose roots grow deep. . .It was the right decision and I've never looked back. Not that I could see through my tears if I did look back, and not that there is anything in front of me to see either, but I'm comfortable, looking right where I'm at. I have peace. That peace is hard fought for, but it is still peace. And peace in the middle of chaos is a pretty amazing thing. Nope, I don't have another job. Nope, I'm not looking for one. Nope, Kaz is still not open and we're obviously not travelling there anytime soon. Nope, I am not quitting my job to go toward anything. I think I am quitting my job because I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Which can be the most freeing and most dangerous place in the world.
No one's job is without some sense of identity. But mine is grafted onto my heart. I feel its beat and I'm not sure how to stop that rhythm. I love the community that comes with my job, they're family, and that won't change at all. So, maybe the rhythm won't stop, I just adjust to a new beat. I don't like adjusting. But I will. I will grieve and I will let go and I will still have peace. And I'm fairly confident that a new awakening will be built on that peace. A new sense of purpose. A new season.
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.~The Byrds
So I cry because my roots are deep. And I'm weary because untangling myself from more than a decade of investment is exhausting. But I bought waterproof mascara and I'm drinking a lot of coffee. And I'm excited for my first day off and even though I can't wait to see what's around the corner, I'm content to just look at it. For now.
So thank you. If you have been with me on this journey, thank you. I love you, you are a treasure to me and my family. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without the immense richness of these past years, more blessings poured out on me than I could have imagined and more than I deserved. And I'm not going anywhere, so I hope to still be part of something, because we are meant to live for so much more-Switchfoot. And that's what I plan to keep doing, until I can't do it anymore.
So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.~Green Day
I know I did.
