Happy Birthday!

I can't believe I gave birth to a baby one week ago.

Here is what I have learned so far:

1. It's arrogant to think I've learned anything because all the sudden there is a whole new world of learning opened before me and it seems like every moment brings new discovery.




2. There is a huge difference between the love that develops for a child and the love that develops for an adult. When you grow closer to another adult you have to trust that person, let down your guard, and make a conscious effort to allow him/her into your world of intimacy. With a child that happens naturally. And although I know there will be times when she is driving me crazy and I have to remind myself of that love, the initial stages of it are so innocent and powerful. The way I can just simply love her must be, in a very small way, like the way God loves us, without question, worry, or control. Perfect love casts out all fear.




3. I miss people. I know I posted about this already but it continues to amaze me how much I miss being in community and interacting with my friends and family. I always knew I was an extrovert and that I loved my community, but I don't think I really understand how powerfully that love expressed itself in my life. None of you would believe how quiet I am, it's so strange!




4. I am grateful for people. It's such a blessing to get a phone call or an email checking in. People are bringing meals, asking what they can pick up for us at the store, stopping by to visit. We feel so blessed by everyone-thank you.




5. I actually kind of like not having a schedule! I know you don't believe me : ) But it's a little vacation from myself and I'm enjoying it a bit! I think I need to learn something from this and incorporate it into my life-we'll see!




6. I can survive without sleep. And, I'm actually getting more than I thought I would. Although I probably just jinxed that. Those truths are not all that surprising though. What is a surprise is that my husband talks in his sleep when he is really tired! This has become hilarious. Last night he said "Evelyn Joy is five feet tall." He was sound asleep and I was nursing, so I figured talking to him would keep me awake. I said, "Really?" Then he mumbled something about an Iraqui surgical horse needing transport and was quiet the rest of the night. Maybe he is James Bond and I don't know it.




7. Living in the here and now is a blessing. It's refreshing to just focus on what is right in front of me (a beautiful baby) and not think about tomorrow, not stress about what has to be done, and just be. David wrote in the Psalms, "Be still and know that I am God." Something about babies makes you very aware of the presence of God.



8. I have realized that nothing gives me more peace than gazing into the face of my daughter while she is asleep in my arms. I am grateful for every moment of the last week.