Monday, May 26, 2008
Crib first!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
More firsts
- First time being sick while caring for her-boy am I glad that is over!
- She wore her 0-3 month clothes for the first time-she has only been wearing newborn clothes until now. Although she is still too small to fit into most of them, it's amazing to think she'll be 8 weeks on Tuesday. She is almost growing out of some of her onesies and I'm sure that before I know it she'll be off at the mall buying her own clothes. So I'll put her in as much pink as possible before that happens!
- First dance recital. Okay, so she didn't dance : ) But I took her to the YMCA for the first time-I'm not returning to teaching dance until August. We had an informal show over the weekend so all my students and co workers got to meet her for the first time. Bard was great at showing her off while I visited with everyone. Many of these women I've known for years, if not most of my life and they are like family to me. I look forward to having her grow up as a part of this great community.
- First trip to daddy's work. Several wonderful women at World Vision threw a little shower for us so I took her to Bard's office and she got to meet many of the people he works with (with the noted exception of his coworkers in South Africa, Sweden, Russia, Philippines, etc!) She received the cutest clothes imaginable and I got to meet people I hadn't met before either. It was a great experience until the 40 minute drive home in rush hour traffic during which my daughter decided it would be cute to scream the whole time. Yes, I know you're thinking that most babies fall asleep in the car like perfect angels. Key word-most. MY daughter apparently hasn't heard that and so lately she has been crying whenever we put her in the carseat. I've decided to choose this battle and so am responding by putting her in it at least once a day. I figure she'll have to get used to it eventually. Unless she is actually more stubborn than me in which case we're both in for a lot of trouble regardless. You should probably pray for us : )
- First momishness. Okay, so that's not a word, but I haven't worked in two months, so forgive me! This week I had my first feelings of "All I do is care for this child and clean the dishes, all day every day and this is what my life amounts too now." I have a post graduate education and used to have a job in which I trained leaders, planned events, and helped make important decisions. Now I watch Regis and Kelly, talk to an infant all day, clean up poop and consider myself productive if I've managed to shower, eat more than two meals, and maybe do one household task. What happened??!! Okay, okay, I know what I'm doing is of utmost importance and I treasure these moments, I really do, but it's a little weird to pull up to my suburbia house, in my subaru, pull her out of the back in her carseat and walk past the college kids who live next door, slowly realizing that I am no longer that college kid watching a mom with her baby. I honestly can't tell you when that transition happened, I remember going out on Friday and sleeping until 1pm like it was yesterday. Now I'm up at 2am, but for a very different reason!
- First fists and smiles. She has found her fist and smiled many times before, but this week she began to make a regular habit of both actions and they became notable more deliberate. Watching her put her little hand in her mouth and suck on it, I think I have the smartest baby in the world. And watching her give me a big smile when she sees my face, I know I wouldn't trade places with those college kids for all the Friday nights out in the world.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sick
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Mothers
Sunday, May 4, 2008
A Week of Firsts
- Her belly button stump finally fell off so she got to have an actual bath! She liked it but screamed when we took her out cause it was cold and then pooped on the towel. That's my girl!
- She had her first bottle a week ago-and did great. I was worried about bottle feeding and breast feeding, but it seems to be going fine and I can't even begin to express how great it is to know that someone besides me can feed her. That means I can be gone longer than an hour!
- I cut her finger nails for the first time. I was terrified that I would cut off part of her finger too! But she still has all ten so I must have done okay : )
- We checked her into our church nursery for the first time. I'm not sure how much of the sermon I heard since I was constantly wondering how she was doing and watching for her number to come up on the screen as a page for me to come get her. It didn't-I'm just paranoid-she did fine and slept the whole time.
- The very same day we both left her for the first time and went out for cofffee-she stayed with my parents. Again-this made possible by the bottle. She was a bit fussy but again, did fine.
There are probably more, but even that seems like a big week to me! It's funny how many of her firsts I was worried about-and still am worried about. I think part of it is just natural worrying that a mom is going to do. But I know another part of it is me just needing to relax and let what is going to happen, just happen. I'm so used to order, scheduling, and yes, the "c" word-control. It might kill me to learn this, but there is no way that I can control her. She eats when she wants, sleeps when she wants, fusses when she wants, and yes, poops when she wants. And my worrying about how she is going to do or about getting something done only serves to make myself frustrated. That frustration is magnified by sleep deprivation and leads me to think that I only want one child because this is so incredibly hard. It is hard, but I think my attitude can make it even worse. So, maybe one of next week's firsts will be me letting go. And probably, so will the following week's. : )