The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Painting the baby's area of our room.

There are way too many waiting times for an adoption.  It's like the Waiting Room from Hell. Waiting for the stupid life insurance company to get their paperwork back to me.  Waiting for the social worker to call.  Panicking because the social worker called.  Waiting for the stupid paint to dry.  Panicking because why on earth did you paint your bedroom the week before the social worker is coming?  Waiting for Kazakhstan to reopen for US adoptions.  Panicking because Kazakhstan is still closed.  There are a lot of panicking times in an adoption!

People ask me over and over when we will get our baby-not complaining, I'm thrilled when people show interest in our adoption!  But, the honest answer is I just don't know.  When we had been planning on a Russian adoption, there was a pretty good chance (as far as pretty good chances in the adoption world go-which means slim to none!) that we would be bringing our little boy home this year.  With Kazakhstan, there still is a chance that we could have our baby this year, but a lot of variables would have to fall into place to make that dream come true.  And right now, we are really just waiting.

We've been super busy, getting all our paperwork in order (see more on Home Study process: here.  But that is wrapping up-I have the last of most of it:  Bard's birth certificate, our tax report, proof of employment for both of us, FBI fingerprint checks, and my physical. We need proof of life insurance-which is held up, probably because they hate me, and Bard needs to get his physical, but that is about it.  We have to complete 10 hours of Adoption Parenting Classes, and we have 6 done so far-almost there!  And, the social worker.

So, next Saturday, the 9th, a social worker will come to our house for the first of two, 2 and a half hour interviews.  Once that joyful process, and the paperwork, is complete, our Home Study is done!  We started in January (the 16th to be exact) and hopefully we will be done by the end of March-we'll have our paperwork in over the next week, our second social worker visit is March 16th and I don't know how long it takes to process everything.

Kostanay Football

Then what?  Hmmm.  I don't know!  We can possibly start working on our dossier (which is like an extended version of the Home Study-more paper work and it all has to be apostilled!) But, if Kazakhstan is not reopened to US adoptions yet (it is supposed to reopen in late February, but again, in adoption lingo, that could translate to mean April!), we may have to wait, because our agency may not be sure of the requirements and best not to have to do things two, or three times!

Kostanay has many rivers and lakes.

Then, once our dossier is completed (probably a couple month process), we submit it to our government and Kazakhstan.  And wait.  It gets translated into Kazakh and Russian.  Goes to their Ministry of Education.  And from there to the region, Kostanay, where we will be adopting from.  Interesting fact about Kazakhstan, Kostanay is in the central north part of the country and has numerous colleges.  It is also home to FC Tobol, a pretty decent Football Club that has played well across Europe. After our information is taken to Kostanay, they review us to make a referral for a child they feel is a good match. And we wait.  Wait for a phone call that says they have a child to refer to us.  A child.

Ultimately, that is what we are waiting for.  Our child, to join our family.  And so every day that the life insurance takes, they are keeping me from my family.  The hours I spend, and will spend, waiting for phone calls, emails, documents in the mail, packages containing cute decorations for my son's area, are all really just waiting for the same thing. I think this waiting is the most excruciatingly painful and intensely beautiful experience. I want to see my baby.  I want to hold him.  And I want to bring him home.

But I'll kneel down

Wait for now

I'll kneel down

Know my ground

Raise my hands

Paint my spirit gold

And bow my head

Keep my heart slow

Cause I will wait, I will wait for you

And I will wait, I will wait for you

And I will wait, I will wait for you

~Mumford and Sons~