What's In A Name?

Okay, so that is a super cheesy and predictable title for a post about names, but what can you do?!  Several people have asked us if we know what we will name our little boy and since it's always on my mind, I thought I would let you in, to my mind. . .get ready and hold on!

The first answer is nothing because he will already have a name.  In fact, he's probably already been born and his biological mom, or someone, gave him his first name.  Interesting fact about Kazakhstan, names are very important.  It's actually against tradition to give your child a name from the family tree-going back 7 generations.  And, there is an old ceremony for naming a child where you lay the baby in his crib, the female family members gather around and one person goes up to the child, telling him what his name is, three times in a row.  Maybe we'll do that when we bring him home :) Naming a child is a very personal choice-whether you're adopting or having a child biologically-there is a lot to consider.  A lot of thought went into what we named our girls.  The meaning of their names, the sound, if it would fit their personalities, possible nicknames,  and the popularity of our choices were all issues that we discussed before deciding for sure on Evelyn Joy and Cecilia Lynn.  Just as much thought has gone, and will go into our son's name, but it's different.

Evelyn's name, written when I was 6 months pregnant with her.

Some people give their adopted child a totally new American name.  Some people combine the child's birth name, perhaps as a middle name, with a more traditional first name.  Others, keep the birth name and maybe add their own name as a middle name, or a nick name.  Depending on the circumstances, we will likely do one of the latter options.  I can't imagine our child not having a name that represents his culture of origin.  I've fallen in love with Kazakhstan and want him to be proud of his heritage, familiar with it, and know where he came from.  So, that will somehow be a part of his name.  The rest will depend on how old he is and what name he was given.  If he is closer to 2 years old, we will try to keep his name the same, or as similar as possible.  Because, obviously this will be how he has identified himself and since he will already be verbal, I just think it would be extra confusing to him.  Although, again, it's a very personal decision and other people go different routes for different reasons.

What may throw a wrench in that plan is if the name is Kazakh and particularly difficult to translate into our culture.  For example, the President of Kazakhstan is Nursultan Nazabayev.  And (2nd interesting fact about Kazakhstan, I didn't manage to get one in the last blog post so you get two today!) is that I have studied a lot of world leaders, particularly focusing on transitions from communist bloc countries to a more free market and President Nazarbayev is by far the biggest success story I have come across.  The road to democracy is long and winding, but he has led his people with an openness and intelligence that you rarely see in countries attempting to free themselves of the shackles of communism.  In fact, he wrote a book about his experiences and because I am super romantic, I told Bard that is what I wanted for Valentine's Day.  This is a fascinating man.  However, the first part of his name (Nurse) has an obvious  and totally different meaning in English, and it would be odd for a boy's name.  And the second part of his name (Sultan) also has different connotations in our culture and although I could maybe see keeping just the second part as our child's name, if he came to us named Nursultan, we would likely make it his middle name.  And how cool would it be for him to have his president's name as part of who he is?!

Tsar Nicholas II

The other wrench could come from an unusual Russian name.  The odds are also pretty good that our child will have an ethnic Russian name.  And although I like many Russian names, there are a few that have been ruined for me.  Thank you Vladimir Lenin/Putin.  And some I am just not particularly fond of, Boris for some reason, and Gregory just don't quite make the cut.  Here's a strange piece of info about a possible Russian name though, when I was in high school and I (like every girl I know) had picked out my kids' names, the boy's name that I chose and still love, was Nicholas.  A very popular Russian name.  Now, Bard is not a fan of that name, mainly because Nicholas was a very weak tsar whom many hold responsible for allowing Russia to explode into communism because of his apparent inability to lead with any kind of intuition for what his country actually needed to survive and thrive in the new century.  Whatever.  We have joked for years now that it would serve him (Bard, not Tsar Nicholas) right if the child we adopt had already been given the name Nicholas :) I've actually already imagined getting the phone call and email referral, in which our agency tells me we have a child that the Kazakhstan government is referring to us, and his name is Nicholas.  Poor Bard :)

So, obviously we have thought about boy names.  Even though we knew the gender of both our girls, I really am not the type to sit around for 20 weeks and not think about all possibilities!  If Evelyn had been a boy, my choice would have been Nicholas James.  James for my grandpa who in one of my earliest memories at age 3, shared the love of Jesus with me, and who also was a tank commander In World War II and stormed the beaches on D Day.  Can't get sweeter or more BA than that!  But, Bard was not convinced about Nicholas so it's really rather lucky that Evelyn was a girl, because we never agreed on a boy's first name!

However, things changed a bit with Cici.  I had a miscarriage in between the two girls and felt like if we had a boy, he should be named Thomas.  I clearly remember laying in bed and knowing that even when we doubt, there is an eternal Presence, and nothing can change that Truth.  Had Cecilia been a boy, she likely would have been Thomas Everett, or vice verse, Everett was also my grandpa's name and I actually love the idea of calling a little boy Rhett :) Things changed a bit more last year when Bard's grandpa passed away.  He was an amazing man and I would love to honor him somehow, which is odd for me because despite my wanting our son to reflect my grandpa's name, I'm not particularly big on continuing family names-there must be a bit of Kazakh in me ;) But I have many wonderful memories and associations with Bard's grandparents, who both passed away last year and feel that using Walter's name is a way to extend their legacy. So there's a fairly decent chance our child will have two middle names!  But hey, we're only having one boy, so we have a lot to fit in :)

Cecilia's name, made by a friend of ours.

Especially true because it's a priority for us is giving him a name that reflects his heritage, all of his heritage.  So if he has our grandfather's names somewhere, then even if it doesn't work to continue with his given name, it would likely be a middle name or a nickname.  But just to be more complicated, it would also seem odd to me if he did not have a first name that reflected his ethnicity, whether that be Russian or Kazakh (Russian ethnically but Kazakh nationally.) So what does that mean?  I don't know!  Maybe we would give him a new name, that represents his ethnicity if his birth name does not translate well?  There is a famous Russian artist named Kazimir Malevich.  We could name our baby Kazimir and call him Kaz.  That is too adorable :)

So what is in a name?  People do not take on the identity of their names, it's the other way around.  If you meet someone with what you think is a strange name, as you get to know that person, the name "grows on you" and if you connect with that person then the name becomes as endearing to you, reflecting the person's place in your heart.  Whatever name our baby has, he already has a place in our heart. And, I have to admit, it's a little thrilling that someone is going to call me on the phone and tell me what my baby's name is!  His final name will likely end up being a bit different than the name he starts with, but it will be a beautiful merging of cultures, families, and history.  Just like him.