16 weeks and Isaiah

This is me at 16 weeks-I look tiny! How I long for the days of being able to turn over in bed without shooting pains criss-crossing my belly! We plan to use our blog to post baby pics and updates, so I thought I would take the next few days/week and post about the pregnancy-here is the first one, it's a doozie!

I wasn't great at taking pictures of myself throughout pregnancy, but I do have some for each trimester. And I feel like God spoke to me pretty strongly during this first trimester. So I thought I would share it with anyone who happens to have nothing better to do right now than read my blog!

At about 6-7 weeks we went to the ER because I had been experiencing cramping all day, had called the nurse and because the Doctor's office had just closed she said I needed to go in to the ER to confirm that the pregnancy was still developing in a healthy way. So in we went. First of all, when you walk into the ER and there are no seats available, take that as a sign that you'll be there all night. We were. Throughout the tests and the waiting I vacillated between feeling very scared and anxious to feeling calm and peaceful, confident that nothing was wrong. About half way through everything (after the catheter was administered on the THIRD TRY AND WITHOUT ANY ANESTHESIA!) I asked Bard for his Bible and did something that I rarely do-just randomly opened it, hoping for something comforting. Normally I have "my" verses that I turn to, ones that have comforted me in the past and that I know will say what I want or need to hear. But this time I just flipped it open. I looked down and saw this passage from Isaiah 54:

1 “Sing, O childless woman, you who have never given birth! Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem, you who have never been in labor. For the desolate woman now has more children than the woman who lives with her husband,” says the Lord. 2 “Enlarge your house; build an addition. Spread out your home, and spare no expense! 3 For you will soon be bursting at the seams. Your descendants will occupy other nations and resettle the ruined cities.
4 “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of widowhood. 5 For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. 6 For the Lord has called you back from your grief—as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,” says your God. 7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great compassion I will take you back. 8 In a burst of anger I turned my face away for a little while. But with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.

This verse spoke to me so clearly and beautifully I felt like God had written it just for me. And maybe He had. I felt a very strong sense of His promise that my baby was alright and that He would be with me throughout every part of this pregnancy. And I knew that this had been His plan all along-that as I dealt with the shame of bad choices, a failed first marriage, longing for and never knowing if I would have children of my own-that He had this in store for me all along. Because His plans are better than anything I could ever dream of.