Family

There is a misconception about adoption (well, there are probably hundreds of misconceptions but one blog at a time!)  People-who haven't adopted-think that is must be hard to meet a perfect stranger and then start bonding with him or her and bring this child into your family.  Ahh, but you see, even though my son doesn't know me yet, I have already bonded with him, he is already part of my family.  He is with me when my girls are sick and I wonder if he has been sick yet, who will care for him when I am not there?  He is with me when I go to bed at 10pm and know that it is lunch time in Kazakhstan, what is he eating for lunch?  He is with me when I go out to dinner with Bard and there is a little boy, about a year old sitting at the table next to us, is that what my son will look like?  He is with me when I read books and blogs about Kazakhstan and essentially devour any information I can find about this unique and amazing country.  Interesting Kazakh fact for the day-the steppe in Kazakhstan (think US prairie but much, much bigger) is the largest in the world and is the foundation for their nomadic, tribal culture.  It's so important for me to learn about Kazakhstan, because this is who my son is, but it's also important because it's now a part of who I am.  Every thing I do, all throughout the day, brings me closer to him. In every possible way, through any tiny connection, I relate what I am going through to him.  I've been doing this for months.  And will continue doing it for months.  He is part of our family.

So, as I share these family pictures with you, know that they are the last ones we will have done before including the newest member of our family!  We normally take pictures before Christmas (with the fabulous Chelle Nicole Photography!) and although there is a slight part of me that is hopeful to have him home before then, I can't place much weight on that dream, so maybe our pictures will be done next year.  Either way, as I prepared for these pictures, he was on my mind the whole time.  We could do a shot of all three kids together.  Daddy with the girls, Mommy and son. Would he smile the whole time like Evelyn, stare at the ground and stubbornly refuse to look up like Cici, or some funny (I use that term lightly) mix in between them?  Hmmm, what will we wear?  Oh, no worries, I figured that one out.  Oh yes, I did!

It's so crazy to think of what our family will look like a year or so from now, not just in pictures, but in day to day life.  Three kids, we'll be out numbered!  Evelyn talks about her baby brother all the time, draws pictures of our family with him right there with us and asks when we are going to Kazakhstan.  Cici of course it too little to understand any of these events.  But by the time we are actually in Kazakhstan, she will be about the same age Evelyn was when we had Cici.  I'm sure the whole month in Kazakhstan will be exciting, exhausting, and emotional-for them and us.   But what about after?  I know there will be hard times, there are with adding any sibling.  I was exhausted after Cici was born and although I think that transition went well over all, there were many challenging moments and I relied a lot on Bard, friends and family, a little extra PBS, and a lot more coffee!  As much as I read about other families who have adopted from Kazakhstan, as much as I study international adoptions, and as much as we educate ourselves, prepare our home, and pray, pray, pray, there is no way we can truly be prepared to bring a new child into our family.  But that is the beauty of family.  Family is not
what you plan for, it's not an ideal, and it's so much more than the sum of its pieces.
With all the unexpected issues that a third child will bring, there will also be many unexpected joys.  Little moments of the kids bonding together.  Passions that he will develop over the years.  I can't possibly imagine the joys this unknown child will bring to our family.  But there's that misconception again.  He is not unknown.  He is my son.