Santa Baby

So this was Christmas. Hmm, how many musical references do you think I can fit in one blog? ; ) Last spring Bard and I were discussing the possibility of being pregnant around this time (contrary to popular belief, there are no "accidents"-if you are surprised that you are pregnant, then we need to have a chat!) I was really unsure about being pregnant/possibly delivering right in the middle of the holiday season. But for several reasons, one apparently I need to let go of control, we decided to just see what would happen.

Nine months later. Since I've now made it through Christmas, and almost to next year-although I'm not sure I'll make that yet-I feel pretty good. Yes, there were really hard moments, filled with back pain, heart burn, utter exhaustion, and being overwhelmed, but fortunately that did not take away from Christmas. Even with heartburn I was still able to eat the yummy food! I really wanted to enjoy Christmas as a family. We've established many traditions, from Zoolights to holiday baking, from a Christmas Eve present to White Elephant gift parties. I love these times. I love the music, the memories, the food, the thought, and yes, the busyness. And I'm so grateful that I got to experience it all with the people I love. Including the one that has given me thirty extra pounds to carry around while doing it all ; )

As I sit here, we're getting ready to take down our tree, the carseat is in the car and each of our belongings are packed and ready for overnight stays. The baby's room is done-complete with Bard's mom's Christening Dress hanging on the wall-a Christmas present from Bard's grandma that helped me finish the room because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to put on the walls-beautiful! Evelyn is playing with her new presents, we've packed away some of her old toys-some for the baby and some to give to "boys and girls who don't have very many toys." I've finished some last work emails, and know that even if I went into labor tonight, three months of maternity leave are set up to go fairly smoothly. And last night I spent a hundred dollars at Target buying last minute baby supplies that were not totally needed but gave me peace of mind. I probably shouldn't go back to Target til after the baby is born!

I feel content. Yes, when I was walking up the hill at Zoolights, a block behind Bard and Evelyn because I had to stop every few minutes due to stabbing pain, I did wonder why I had thought being this pregnant over Christmas was a good idea. Yes, when I thought I might be going into labor on Christmas Eve eve and was running around ironing angel costumes, labeling work supplies, and dusting the bedroom dresser, I thought, this is terrible! But somehow, those moments pass. And the moments we are left with are ones of gratitude-at seeing a bigger plan, at knowing that it will be okay, at the thought of Joy to the World and Peace on Earth.

Christmas was great. I ate a ton of fudge and somehow managed to lose a pound! Okay, more than that, it was a celebration with family and friends. It was watching Evelyn's eyes light up as she gave Bard his present. It was standing with family, in candlelight, singing Silent Night. It was wrapping that last stocking on Christmas Eve and knowing that it would be opened in just a few hours. It was knowing that next Christmas I will be doing it all with my second daughter as well, teaching her the traditions and watching her experience the joy.

And so what if I had to scoot the chair back from the table a few extra inches in order to get up after Christmas Dinner? Didn't everybody?!

The Valley Song

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I am crying out to you

I will sing of your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For the faith that assures

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

I will sing of your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down

I will sing of your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

Alleluia, Alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia



. . . . Jars of Clay

Fall Firsts and Pregnancy No Nos

Aside from starting preschool, Evelyn has also started dancing in my ballet classes this fall! This may seem odd to those of you who know that she has come to class with me since she was 4 months old. But now is the first time she is old enough to actually participate, in the way that the other students are. I was a little nervous about how she would do, but very soon I was pulling out my camera to snap pictures of her, just like any other proud mama : ) She interacted with the other girls really well-she is 2 and a half and they are all 3, 4, and 5 years old. And in fact, not surprisingly, after the first week was bossing them around. Sigh. She told them where to sit, tried to tuck in their ballet shoe bows, and "helped" them stand the right way in line. Even the ones who are twice her age and size! She is a bit squirelly, since she is technically too young to be in the class, but I was delighted at how well she did. After her first class she spent the rest of the week talking about plies, gallops, and dancing with scarves. She loves wearing her little tutu and often mimics the activities we do in class at home (see video posted on facebook.) It's hard to say who loves it more-her or me : )

This fall we also had our first, slightly more serious, health issue. Evelyn was wheezing so I called the Dr to ask whether or not I should bring her in or what to look for. Much to my surprise (I'm not sure why) they consider even the slightest wheezing an emergency and saw her right away. They promptly put her on breathing treatments, 2-3 a day until all symptoms cleared up, which took about two weeks. This was so discouraging and frustrating to me. For a child who is rarely sick, she seems to have these odd health issues and I hate the thought of her being affected by them. But, out came the nebulizer and there we sat for 10-20 minutes each treatment. She does pretty well, although books and songs only cut it so much of them time and we have often turned to Elmo, online pictures of her, animals, or whatever else has a chance at keeping her still for that amount of time! The Dr said it's triggered by environmental issues-allergies-so she is very likely to grow out of it, but it's still frustrating. Fortunately her attitude is much better than mine!

Now, enough about Evelyn, what about me?! Well, I'm very pregnant, just starting my 7th month, and although I'm uncomfortable, everything is going well so I can't complain too much. Except that I love to complain, so I will : ) There are many dos and do nots for pregnant women- do take your vitamins, don't drink alcohol, do drink tons of water, don't take ibuprofen, do get regular exercise, don't eat shellfish, do sleep only on your side, don't go on any carnival rides. Blah blah blah. However, very few people talk about the dos and don'ts of other people REGARDING pregnant women. This is a sadly lacking social grace in our society, one that I feel a strong calling to correct, so that we don't spiral further down into barbarian ways. So listen up! First and foremost, it is never, I repeat NEVER acceptable to comment on how huge a woman looks-pregnant or not! Seriously, I have no idea where you people get these ideas! Big, big no no. This is closely followed by the second rule, no matter how surprised you are when someone shares her due date-do not show that surprise. No 4 month pregnant woman likes to be told she looks like she could pop any day! This is closely followed by the third rule. You never, I repeat, NEVER, ask a woman, pregnant or not, how much she weighs/how much weight she has gained. Are you kidding me? Are you sensing a theme here? Then you are right-the theme is comments that would be perceived as negative by women who are not pregnant, are most likely going to be perceived as negative by women who are pregnant. Hormones may be responsible for a lot of changes during pregnancy, but there is no magical hormone that makes a woman feel sexy when you are saying how big she is. Sorry folks, doesn't exist. Okay, so if I've now severely limited your conversation topics, what can you say? Here are some very acceptable examples: "Wow, you look fabulous!" "Look at how cute, and untired you look." "Do you need anything? Can I get you chocolate or a foot massage?" "Why don't you sit down and let me do that for you." And the always popular, "You are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen!" I guarantee that if you open with one of these comments, and not the "huge" one, you will be greeted with a smile, and not a dead pan "I'm not really sure how to respond to you" look. Plus, pregnant women are known to be slightly unpredictable, trust me, this is for your own good! Whew. Are we good? I really think that this is what our society needs to move to the next level, end polarization in politics, increase tolerance, establish peace in warring countries, and solve poverty. Just be nice to pregnant women and all our problems will be solved!

Home Alone!

So, I am sitting here, at home, by myself. This has happened maybe 2-3 times in the past few years, so it feels incredibly bizarre! I'm at home by myself, because two weeks ago Evelyn started preschool. Oh my gosh! I know, me too : )

We had been talking about whether or not to send her to preschool this fall for months. As some of you know, I'm a bit of a preschool snob (sorry, I just am!) since I taught Montessori for 6 years. But for a variety of reasons, none of the local Montessori schools would work for us this year and so I kept going back and forth over if I wanted to send her to a regular preschool (I know, I said I was a snob!) or just keep her at home. However, she was really starting to go beyond what I could sit and do with her on a regular basis-wanting to spell words and learn numbers, going over her shapes and colors, and lots of arts and crafts. I think I would have been able to keep up for a little while, but closer to delivery and after the baby is born would be a stretch for me. Plus, you may have noticed she is just a little bit social! I knew she would love it.

I found a great deal at a well established church preschool-that actually goes through elementary school-and I know many of the teachers as well as families who attend. So we went and observed, she cried when we left which was a good sign.

Her first day was hilarious. She looked so adorable, like a big girl but still a baby! Bard came with me and when we got to the classroom it was pretty chaotic. Lots of sad little two year olds

: ( Evelyn walked right in, sat down at a table and started to play. She looked around puzzled, at the other children, as if to say, "Why on earth are you crying?" Bard and I said goodbye, which didn't faze her at all, although Mama was a little emotional! I picked her up just a few hours later-she goes twice a week for two and a half hours-and the teacher said she had done great! Evelyn had over told her teacher when she had to go potty, which amazed me.

So now I sit here, alone, the house is quiet and I'm trying to decide whether to do a million things or nothing! I'm using the time to get extra work done and things taken care of around the house, which gives me a bit more freedom when I am with her-to just be with her. It's interesting to imagine what she is doing. Although I have left her in Sunday School many times, since I am the Director, I know what she is doing and who she is with. Plus, I'm just down the hall if she needs me. It's also interesting to think I am now the mom of a pre schooler and have a baby on the way. It feels very stereotypical! Hi, I'm Kristin. I'm white, middle class, live in a mid sized city. We drive a Subaru, have a cat, and my husband has a good white collar job. Sheesh. I tend to rebel a bit against these descriptions, which of course is impossible, since they are all true! For some odd reason it makes me want to wear some crazy outfit when I drop her off at her little church school, tell them I have my tongue pierced, or go get a tattoo. But that would just be fitting into another stereotype. I couldn't quite bring myself to wear the little lanyard that holds our key card, required for entrance to the building. And breathed a sigh of relief as I listened to Lady Gaga while pulling out of the school parking lot. On my way to my church job. Sheesh. Why do we strive to fulfill some stereotypes and run away from others? Maybe I'll learn more from Evelyn's school than she will.

Oops!

Yes, I do still blog, you just wouldn't know it by looking lately! So, since summer is over, let me give you a peak (or a long look, as it may be) at what we have been up to.

June

Well, I can't remember most of June, so that's easy! I was pretty sick for most of May and June; took time off work, gratefully received meals from friends, and spent way too much time trying to remember why on earth I had wanted to get pregnant in the first place. But, I started to feel better towards the end of the month and we were able to still take our planned vacation to Mexico (pics at right.) Evelyn loved it! We spent most of the days on the beach or in the pool. She did great staying at the hotel and on the airplane. I love how flexible she is that way, it makes travel so much easier. It was really nice to get away, with the baby coming, I'm sure it will be a while before we have a trip like that again.

July

Since I was feeling better, why not double my work hours and plan a huge event for our community?! Yes, July, as always, is defined by Sports Camp-our church's annual outreach for elementary age kids. This year we had the help of an intern, Kayla, who stayed with us. Evelyn fell in love with her-still asks where she is-and it was great to have her here. We had over a hundred kids at camp and it was a lot of fun. Evelyn had a blast at camp, she learned the songs and loved dancing with the kids. She never stayed late enough for any of the sports-maybe next year-but was there at the beginning where all the kids would come in and play with her. She thought this was great! I think my working so much wore on her though, so it was good for all of us when camp ended. We celebrated with a trip to Mount Rainier, which was beautiful and fun to share with both Evelyn and Kayla.

August

I thought August would calm down a bit, but between a work conference, a trip to the beach, flying down to California, and doing everything that I had put off for the previous two months (except obviously blogging!) it was a bit crazy too. We went to the ocean with my parents and brother and sis in law, and their two kids. This may sound relaxing, but shockingly it wasn't! I hurt my back the first day and with Evelyn sleeping in our room, got barely any sleep. But, besides being fairly cranky, it was fun to be there, taking the kids to the beach and park. Evelyn absolutely loves being with my family. Cousin Henry is probably one of her favorite people, we don't see them very much, maybe a few times a month, but she talks about him almost every day! She loves my parents too and pretty much thinks that they exist solely to spoil her rotten. Which may not be far from the truth.

The day after we got back from the beach, we got another dose of family by flying down to stay with Bard's mom. Although sadly we were there for the Memorial Service of Bard's Aunt, who passed away over the summer, we were able to have a wonderful time visiting family and celebrating the life of an amazing woman. Evelyn is so social, even in a crowd of people she has barely met before, she is at ease and goes around to people, interacting with them, and yes, bossing them around! I hope she was able to bring some joy to everyone while we were there.

After that it was pretty much time to finish up summer projects-the stairs to the backyard, tiling around our oven, and a ridiculous amount of yardwork-is Evelyn too young to help garden? The answer is no! We also finished up potty training her-she was potty trained back in May but I was so sick I put her back in diapers (cardinal sin of motherhood, oh well) but all summer she would tell me most of the time when she had to go anyway. She has done really well, which is great, although Bard can tell you his story of running her to the (of course) opposite end of the grocery store while she said, "Potty! Potty!" She almost made it : (

And, as you probably know by now, we finally had our ultrasound and found out baby #2 is a girl! I had thought it was a boy, so was kind of surprised, but we had planned to have two girls anyway, and I've come to realize that there are a lot of positives about having them closer together, so that's good. How can I plan that? Oh, I am just so talented! Actually, Bard and I have always planned on having two biological children and adopting a third. Our thought was that if this one was a boy, we would adopt a girl, since it is a girl, we'll adopt a boy. It's fun to think about, just several quick years from now, our family will look so different!

Well, trust me, this blog could have been twice as long! But I hope it provides a little glimpse into what our summer was like. And even though fall just started, we've already had big changes, so I'll be back soon to share those with you, maybe a few days instead of a few months!

World Cup

Bard and I walked through the streets, barely noticing that they were deserted. Suddenly we heard a collective roar and were amazed to see doors opening and men pouring into the street yelling and hugging each other in excitement. This was very curious so we went into the closest shop, a little ice cream store. The small store was packed with men of all ages, gathered around a television. As we watched, the goal was replayed on the TV and everyone yelled in an excitement again. Bard pulled out the jersey we had just bought, number 10, Francesco Totti, who had just scored the first goal for Italy and all the men in the store cheered in delight, clapping him on the back. It was the World Cup. and we were Italian now too.

During our honeymoon, 4 years ago, we joined Italy and England in futbol fervor as we spent time in both those countries while their teams were competing for victory. When Italy won it's first game hundreds of people poured into the street in front of our hotel, carrying their flags and breaking into a spontaneous singing of the national anthem. We took pictures of them draping flags over the shoulders of statues that litter the streets of Rome and joined the elderly couple who ran our hotel as they watched the game in the breakfast nook with their family. We laughed at the English press as they crucified their own team on national television and moved quickly into the London underground as a mob of Brazilians started celebrating in the square after their victory. There is really nothing to compare this experience to in the US. Sure, our teams claim victory over national teams, but to have victory over the world, well. I doubt we'll ever be part of that thrill again, but after four years, I remember it like it was yesterday.

This World Cup I've watched mostly with Evelyn and laughed at her as she yells at the TV, "C'mon guys, c'mon soccer ball!" A totally different experience, but just as delightful. As Bard and I celebrated with those men in that tiny ice cream shop, we never dreamed where we would be a quick four years later. A different house, different jobs, a toddler, and a baby on the way. My life has changed in more ways than I can possibly express. I don't know how it's possible, but I think I love Evelyn more every day. Bard is an incredible husband and an absolutely great father. Oh, and I love him too!

2014 World Cup will take place in Brazil. Where will we be then? Impossible to say, fun to dream.

Prayer for a Baby

I am now eight weeks pregnant. At eight weeks with my second pregnancy I miscarried, losing the baby and a part of myself. Since finding out I was pregnant I've run the scale of emotions many times, ricocheting from excitement to fear, joy to panic.

One of the first signs of concerns with the last pregnancy was that I never felt sick-and sickness is often a sign that hormones are increasing-a good and necessary development for the baby.
About three weeks ago I felt like I was starting to feel sick and was pretty relieved. Until the next day when I felt fine and the day after that when I felt fine as well. I was still pretty early in the pregnancy, so it definitely wasn't abnormal that I felt okay, but I grew more and more anxious. I called Bard in the middle of the day, fear in my voice and told him how I felt. It didn't surprise me that his first response was to pray. What surprised me was his prayer. "Heavenly Father I just pray for Kristin and for this baby growing inside of her. I pray that it would be healthy and for her not worry. God, I just ask that Kristin feel so sick that she knows she is pregnant and that everything is going well. I ask that she feel nauseous all the time."

Hmmm. Well, "prayers of righteous man" and all that, two days later I woke up and felt sick all day. It was Mother's Day. All that week I felt sick-but just sick like I was with Evelyn-as long as I ate I felt okay. I never felt really seriously ill. Until the following week. I woke up and pretty much didn't get off the couch all day. And it's been like that for two weeks. We've canceled plans, cut my work hours, made arrangements with friends and family to care for Evelyn, received meals (for Bard, I'm barely eating anything), and restructured my life so I'm not doing more than one thing a day. Thanks honey! We told people I was pregnant two weeks before originally planned because it was just so obvious there was something wrong with me. Evelyn's nick name in utero was Little Birdie. I've nick named this one Gremlin because I'm pretty sure it's eating me from the inside out. But, it is a sign of health (the baby's, not mine). It's a sign that my hormones are doubling every day. And it's a sign that Motherhood is approaching again, the first of many times when I will care for this child even though I don't feel up to it. That I will make it through the day not based on how I feel, but on how my children need to feel. And that ultimately, no matter what this child puts me through-the pain, the worry, the lack of control. I will love this child. Unconditionally. And I'm grateful for every minute of it. Because I'm a mom.

We're not out of the woods yet, and still need prayer, although I haven't asked Bard to pray lately. . .I honestly probably won't stop worrying until I hold my baby in my arms. But the next 4 weeks will be very telling and getting through the first trimester is a huge milestone. Please keep us in your prayers. And if you need prayer for something, just ask Bard, he has a way with words!

What's in Mama's Tummy?

I Need It!

What are the differences between needs and wants? I know many adults who think they are one and the same and am sure I fall victim to that trap myself far too often. Bard and I try really hard to constantly evaluate the material items we have and our desires to buy more. We have a pretty strict rule of replacement-if we buy an item of clothing, then we have to get rid of an item of clothing. The same goes for books, shoes, and just general junk that we all seem to accumulate. We don't value brand names for clothes (is Old Navy a brand name?!) and have very few of them. Honestly, I just don't see the point and I think once you go down that road, it's hard not to start placing a lot of importance on things that really aren't that important. I'm not saying we're Amish, or against owning nice things. We just bought a new tv (so we got rid of our old one) - for the first time in 13 years! We like it : ) Oh, and I should clarify, I don't think it's wrong to buy expensive things, sometimes a good brand is the only way to get good quality. But sometimes not. We don't think there is anything wrong with stuff-hence the new tv-it's just easy to slide down the slippery slope of constantly needing to get new stuff. That's also why we only have one car. We thought about it and felt that we really didn't need two cars. Bard takes the bus to work every day. It does have it's challenging moments, but it's worth it.

So, how do you teach your child not to become obsessed with stuff? Especially because everyone else seems to be teaching her the opposite! We've made it a point not to buy Evelyn a lot of things either. She doesn't get treats every time we go to the store. In fact, I'm not sure that she has ever gotten a treat at the store! We cycle through her toys, so there are not a ton out everywhere. When she is older, she'll have an allowance and have to buy a lot of her own things, just like I did! I loved it ; ) But I know there is more than that to teaching her that she is not the center of the universe, that she doesn't need a cell phone at the age of 5, that other stores make clothes besides Abercrombie and Fitch (sp?) I really want her to value giving, sharing what she has with others, understanding how blessed she is and that those blessings come from God. It's really important to me that she grows up understanding this concept.

That's why the twos are going to be very hard for me! Developmentally two year olds are ego centric. It's just where they're at : ) She is learning her own independence, that she can make choices, that she is an individual with her own, yes, needs and wants. These are all great things and should be encouraged. Unfortunately they can be used for both good and evil! Evelyn has recently started telling us all the things she needs, "I need to go bye bye." "I need to get babydoll." "I need to eat snack." "I need music." It's not too surprising, we tell her what she needs to do all the time, so she is just repeating it, and taking it up a notch. We are trying to have conversations with her, "Evelyn, you say, 'Mama, may I have snack please'" She knows how to do this as well, but sometimes just looks at us like we're crazy-I guess that starts young! But the realization of how easy kids turn into cute, but demanding little tyrants came the other day when Evelyn was playing with her rocking horse. Bard and I weren't in the room but we heard our little pipsqueak loud and clear, "Bard, Bard, Bard! I need to get on my horse!"

Yeah, pray for us, our child is the next Napoleon, and I don't mean Dynamite!

Imma Be

When I was in my second trimester with Evelyn, the song, "Lady Marmalade" came on the radio. If you're not familiar with it, you're listening to the wrong kind of music! Just kidding : ) It's a very upbeat song that came out several years ago as part of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. I love that song so I turned up the volume and when I did, Evelyn started kicking! She was dancing in the womb : ) Throughout the rest of my pregnancy I noticed several times that when I was playing hip hop/r&b type music, she would kick. I joked with Bard that she was a hip hop baby and it drove him crazy because he is a bit more on the alternative rock side (which I like as well) and not a fan of hip hop.

FlashForward-Several months ago Evelyn started really paying attention to the music I was playing and even requesting certain songs. I noticed that she mostly connected with upbeat music, poppy, catchy tunes. The songs she asked me to play most often were ones like "Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyed Peas or "Mama Mia" by Abba. About this same time Bard started to complain about the lyrics in many of these songs, which even in the clean radio versions have phrases about being drunk and other such topics that are inappropriate for a two year old! So it's been a joke between us for quite a while that as soon as Evelyn started to comprehend the lyrics well enough to say them back to us-that would be the end of it. I would have to switch the station and only play child friendly songs : (

So you can imagine Bard's delight and my sorrow when yesterday, as we were enjoying watching Evelyn dance to "Imma Be" by Black Eyed Peas (downloaded from itunes and there are no clean versions) she busts out with "Imma be flyest chick" ! Bard jumped off the couch saying, "That's it, that's it! Turn it off, she can't listen to it anymore." Thinking about it, I'm pretty sure he has secretly been teaching her to repeat Fergie's lyrics just so he would have an excuse not to listen to hip hop anymore.

I guess it's Veggie Tales for me from here on out : (

My Two Year Old

The terrific twos are here! I honestly can say that I love this age. I know it will be full of challenging moments, especially as Evelyn develops a stronger will of her own and we clash on expetations. But, there is so much learning taking place during this time; her interactions with people and her ability to learn new skills are so much fun to watch-I love it!

So, here is a glimpse of where she is at now.

She never stops talking. No really. Never. She uses 6, 7, 8 word sentences easily and with proper grammar, saying things like, "I dropped my cup on the floor, mama get it please?" It cracks me up and makes me sad at the same time-she is turning into a little girl. It is really nice though because she can tell us what she wants and can also carry on a conversation about her day. When we ask her what she did in Toddlerville (her class at church), she'll say "Play playdough, make a camel with Teacher Kim." (Kim is much more talented at making playdough animals than I am!) or, "Ate fishie crackers at the table, sing Ring Around Rosie." How fun is that?! Her personality, likes and dislikes are coming through so much more now that she can talk and it's just a blast.

Cognitively she is brilliant ; ) She now recognizes all her letters, some words, knows how to spell her name, recognizes her numbers and can count to twenty. Recently Bard taught her that she has a left foot and right foot and now she knows that as well-much to my surprise! I love exploring what new concepts she can learn, like sequence of events, what happens on certain days, and how she processes information. I'm excited to see where this all will take her-what subjects she will like in school and what areas she will focus on-she has everything ahead of her!

Physically she is still exactly in the 50% for everything. Which is funny cause it means she is pretty much an exact mix of me and Bard! She weighs 27 lbs, 8oz and is 34 inches tall. At this age you can roughly double their height and get what they will be when they are adults-which means she would be close to 5 ft 8 inches. That is so crazy to think about! She just passed the milestone of being able to jump and get both feet off the floor and she can also balance on one foot, for a few seconds. She likes physical activity a lot more than she used to, she tries climbing things now, we go for walks almost every day and she can go much farther (about four blocks), she loves to march, gallop, and run. Her favorite though is to go to the park. She loves swinging and going down the slide. Yesterday while I was finishing dance class at the Y, Bard took her out to their little park to play for about a half hour. She had a total meltdown when he said they had to leave, crying and arching her back so he couldn't get her in the stroller. Ahh, twos : )

One of her favorite activities these days is listening and dancing to music-top three requests: I'm in the Lord's Army, Boom Boom Pow, and Mama Mia. Crazy girl! She also loves her baby dolls and will carry them around all day, feeding them, changing their diapers, putting them to bed and pushing them in the stroller. Her other two big interests are whales and airplanes. No, I don't know where that came from! She loves books about them, seeing real ones, pictures or videos on the internet and just talking about either one in general. If we could find a toy airplane flown by little toy whales, that would be a huge hit!

She still loves people and talks more about them than anything else. If we are going someplace, she knows who is associated with that place and will talk about him or her the whole way there. She has favorite people and will ask where they are and what they are doing. Right now one of her favorite people is my friend Leslie's little boy, Micah. They come over on Thursdays for Small Group and Evelyn talks about him all day. "Micah is coming at dinner!" or, "Eat chicken nuggets with Micah!" "Go to play in basement with Micah!" When he finally arrives she is so excited she just yells. It's pretty cute : )

I'm sure there are other milestones and fun things about this age that I am forgetting. She loves coloring and painting, especially with stickers. Whenever I am baking she always wants to help me stir and pour ingredients into the bowl. The moon fascinates her and we always look for it, day or night. Mostly, I am just loving this time. She surprises me, melts my heart and cracks me up every day.

Happy 2nd Birthday Evelyn Joy!

A Dream is a Wish. . .

Every little girl dreams of being a ballerina, right? Well, maybe, but I bet most moms have dreamed it at one point for their little girls as well! I'm not sure how long it took after finding out that I was going to have a girl for me to wonder if she would love dance as I do. But not long! I can picture her lighting up the stage, having perfect technique and confidence, dancing many different styles, and loving every minute of it. Now, I know some stage moms, and it is a very scary sight. So I'm not saying that I'll turn into a monster (well maybe a little bit) but I can't deny that I would love to be standing off to the side, camera in hand, beaming with pride.

What I never imagined, is that I would already be doing that, even though she is not yet two. Evelyn was about 4 months old when I went back to teaching dance. And she came with me. At first she would just lay there and I would hope she didn't need to eat during class. Then she started sitting up and watching the girls dance. As soon as she could crawl, she would crawl after them, laughing as they danced around the room. She just barely learned to walk before summer of last year and I took the summer off from teaching at the Y. I was a little apprehensive about bringing her to class in the fall because she was running all over and very busy. I thought I would try it, see what happened and if it was a nightmare I would just have to arrange childcare. I was so surprised at how well she did! She loves coming to class with me. I give her a snack at first and she watches the girls. Then I let her out of the stroller and she runs across the room with them as they do their floor dances (going from one side to the other in different steps and formations.) She tries to waltz, gallop, jump, and twirl with them. I see her watching them and then trying to imitate their moves and my heart melts, just a little bit (I posted a video of this on facebook.) The girls of course love her. They bring her presents, ask about her when she's not there, and by now, boss her around! "Evelyn, don't climb in your stroller" "Evelyn, do you want a ball?" "Evelyn, you can't chew on that!" They even know her middle name, and just like we do, call her Evelyn Joy all the time. It's absolutely adorable and just about nothing makes me happier than to see her dance around the room with them during free dance or run up to the barre and put her chubby hands next to theirs. We talk about "Going to the Y to watch the girls dance" and she is always excited to be there with them.

So will she love dance when she is their age? Will she still want to dance across the room and laugh in delight at the way it feels to twirl and jump to the music? Only time will tell. But, I've learned the best thing about dreams is to see the ones coming true around you right now and just live in that moment.

Glimpses

Yikes, good thing blogging more wasn't one of my New Year's Resolutions! Although eating better was and I'm trying to figure out a way that my four boxes of Girl Scout cookies are going to help me with that goal. . .

So, since I've gone from blogging ever week to one blog over the past two months, let me give you some glimpses into our life.

Let's see, I don't remember January, so how about February?!

The first week of February we got to fly down to visit Bard's family in Southern California, where Empress Evelyn held court for a whole week! The trip went really well, we spent lots of time with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, high school friends, college friends, co workers, and dogs. And we even slept a little too. Because Bard and I have traveled to visit family many times now, and it only took us three times and two years to learn that I need some down time during these trips, unless we want to continue having a big fight each time we travel, we also threw in some down time for the two of us. A nice lunch out while Evelyn was napping, and a trip to Nordstrom Rack to buy Bard three pairs of shoes. Oh, how many shoes did I get, you may ask? Zero. But that's okay, we all know I have a good memory and this little shopping injustice will come back to haunt Bard, I would guess right around the time my spring wardrobe needs some sprucing up!

But, back to Evelyn! It still amazes me how social she is. We threw her at dozens of new people and she smiled and asked where they went when they dared to leave the room (much to their delight!) She had no qualms about being dropped off at the church's nursery and when we went and visited the school where Bard's mom teaches, she squirmed to get down, ran off to play with the kids, and cried when I picked her up to go. I was really proud of her. She loved seeing all the new people, actually, she thrived on it. And she was so excited about flying on an airplane that when we were flying down, she woke in the middle of her nap and started crying, "fly airplane, fly airplane!" I told her we were still on the plane and to go back to sleep. She did! She still talks about the family members we visited with and asks where they are. I love that she was able to deepen her relationships with everyone and that she had such a great time.

The week after we got back was Valentine's Day and Bard and I left her with my parents overnight while we stayed in a cabin at Mt Rainier. It was beautiful and incredibly restful for being just a two day trip. We went on a hike the first day and out to dinner and then the next day we drove up to Paradise (Mt Rainier) and snowshoed for a few hours-it was gorgeous. I know some people who live in this area feel that they forget about the mountain, how beautiful it is. But I really don't think I do. I remember going to college and actually missing seeing the mountain. I love to look at it-through clouds, covered in snow, blue caps, at sunrise and sunset. And, years ago, I think as far back as high school, I started calling it "my mountain." You may disagree, but you'll have to prove me wrong! The great thing is, Evelyn now loves the mountain too! She'll look for it when we're driving, ask where it went, and says how pretty it is. Best of all, she refers to it as, "Mama's mountain" What a smart kid!

She is doing really well. She finally entered the dramatic play stage and loves to carry her baby dolls and stuffed animals around-feeding them dinner, changing their diapers, and putting them to bed. I celebrated by buying her another doll, of course : ) She recognizes all her letters and many numbers. She can count to 20 in English and 10 in Spanish-yep, she got her dad's IQ, and she is starting to recognize some words-no not read, just through memorization. She loves singing (we're still praying that she inherited Bard's voice, not mine!) and her favorites are Ring Around the Rosie and Rock a Bye Baby. She still loves reading books and has phrases memorized from most the pages-sometimes even saying what comes on the next page. Her favorite book is Jonah, probably because there is a fish and because she is stubborn! She still sleeps really well, in fact, she is sleeping right now! One of the funniest things about her is that she laughs all the time. She'll run over to put her shoes on the shoe rack and then she'll laugh and say, "Put shoes on rack!" I don't what there is to laugh about that, but apparently it's funny. The other day she threw her food on the floor, laughed, and said, Evelyn's naughty!" Yeah, uh oh. Other than that, clearly we have the most amazing child ever! ; ) Today is March 1st, which means she is one month away from turning two, which I can hardly believe.

Anyway, that's a glimpse into our world. Both January and February pictures are posted to the right. My March resolution is to get back to blogging again, so we'll see how I do!

Happy New Year?

2009 is gone. In case you hadn't noticed ; ) A few years back Bard and I started setting family goals every year for different areas of our life-spiritual, financial, physical, etc. Last year we had several big goals and a variety of little ones as well. Let's see how we did.

*We hadn't gone on a vacation, just our family, since our honeymoon, so that was a priority. You can read all about it in my Bienvenidos post from July, but it was a great vacation! Along with a vacation, we really just wanted to prioritize spending time with each other. Which we've done through regular date nights and a couple of other get a ways.

*We had been working on the basement room for 49 million years and on December 18th (just barely squeaking in for completion before the end of 2009) we passed our final inspection and moved furniture in! (pics to the right) It was a huge accomplishment, one that taught me so much about Bard's ability to grow and persevere.

*We wanted to be involved in a close-knit spiritual community. This one was hard. I almost never make it to the worship portion at our church, so that will be a new goal. About mid year we re-evaluated many of our relationships-or lack of-and made some tough choices, which for me was especially emotional. But, on the good side, I've started meeting with an amazing group of women on a weekly basis. They pray for me, hold me accountable and have grown into close friends. Bard does the same with a group of guys. We also started meeting each week with some families from our church. We have dinner together, commiserate on parenthood, encourage each other and pray for our families. This has been a huge blessing as well.

*We had several financial goals, most of which we've met, even with the basement exploding into a money pit and going a bit too overboard on Christmas. Although we had hoped to end the year with more in savings, so that is a goal for this year now too.

*A goal for Bard was passing the second phase in his CFA. Which he did! The third and final phase is this June, his textbooks are waiting for him : )

*Physically we both wanted to be pretty active and Bard has succeeded at that and I have failed : ( I worked out pretty regularly leading up to Mexico (ahh bathing suits) and then again into the fall, but I have not been consistent so I will get back on the band wagon. . .starting. . .tomorrow. . .

*Now our final goal. We had really thought that we would get pregnant in 2009. Getting pregnant and then losing the baby has been the hardest adjustment of the past year and the healing process is definitely carrying over into 2010, and has actually given it a pretty rocky start. Will we get pregnant and have a baby this year? I don't know. Having set and failed that goal once already, it's too hard for me to be definitive about it again, at least so soon. Even though that is against my natural personality. I think our goal this year will be family-whatever that ends up looking like.

Our goals for 2010 really look pretty similar. Healthy choices in our relationships-with God, friends, each other, and Evelyn. Balanced decisions with our finances and how we spend our time. I don't think making New Year's Resolutions is the answer to everything. But since I am just a bit goal oriented ; ) it goes right along with how I live my life anyway. I think the point is to be purposeful about your life. If you don't, then life just happens and you're left always reacting. And, you're left wondering where all your money went, why you're too busy for friends, and what you really did with the last year.

I didn't do Christmas cards because I just wasn't at a place where I could look back over the year without solely focusing on the loss of the baby. But we did end up-last minute-having our pictures taken (check them out in December pics posted to the right.) And as I look at them I realize it was a pretty good year. We have God and we have each other. And we have a whole new year.