Ok, let me just say right off the bat that this blog might be a little controversial and it's definitely very long! But, you do know I'm feisty, so nothing should be a surprise! So, I haven't decided who I'm voting for yet. I know, I know, I can hear all my friends (both conservative and liberal) screaming "What?!" Well, calm down, and please don't give me your reasons why I should vote for the right or left, I know all the reasons, remember, I'm married to Bard-I can't remember the last time we DIDN'T talk about politics and after the election we'll probably just sit and stare at the wall : ) Anyway. There are things I like and things I don't like about each candidate and so far it's been a pretty unique and fascinating race. And that only increased exponentially with the introduction of Sarah Palin. Which brings me to my blog. . .As you've probably heard, Sarah Palin had a baby in April. Guess what, so did I! So that right there interested me, but when I heard the baby had down syndrome and they had known about the diagnosis early on and decided to keep the baby, I really paid attention. As many of you know, we faced a scary time when one of my tests came back with what is called a positive marker for a very deadly disease. We had to decide if we wanted further testing, which could be inaccurate, or just to wait and see. The risk with getting the test was that there were many occurrences of the results being positive for down syndrome when the baby did not actually have down syndrome-a false positive. So, we might go through the rest of the pregnancy thinking the baby had down syndrome but not knowing for sure. We ended up deciding to get the test because I wanted to know for sure if the baby had the more deadly disease and felt like the uncertainty of down syndrome was better than the uncertainty of a more serious illness. Obviously the test came back negative and Evelyn is fine. But there was a time of unknown. And during that time I questioned myself. I had wanted a baby for so long. If the baby I finally had wasn't the one I had imagined, how would I respond? Would I be able to care for her? And most scary, could I love her in the same way? I was terrified that I wouldn't love her as much as she deserved. Then we had her and she was just so perfect and beautiful I couldn't believe it. But I remember very clearly, one day when she was about a few weeks old, looking at her as she lay on the changing table. I remember thinking, "She is perfect." I know then and there that it would not matter if she had a disability because she was my daughter and she was perfect. When I heard Sarah Palin say about her son, who is two weeks younger than Evelyn, that when she looked at him she only saw perfection, it resonated so strongly with me. Now, I don't think that makes her a good politician and while it helps me relate to her, that doesn't necessarily transfer into voting for her and McCain (oh I mean McCain and her, heh!) But I do think it makes her a good mom. Whether or not I vote for her will be based on her (and really more McCain's) stance on the issues-if I feel I can trust them to help the economy, help with health insurance, resolving crisis in the middle east, helping those around the world in need, and helping our country deal with povery and the education system. How I vote will have nothing to do with her family.
During the past few weeks I've been disgusted, but not shocked, with all the controversy that has been generated because a woman, a mother of five, a mother of a baby with special needs, a mother of a pregnant teenager is running for Vice President. Oh wait, let me rephrase that. Controversy over a woman running. Plain and simple, the rest does not matter. If she were a man the other labels would not even be part of the discussion. Was Bush ever asked if he could be a good father to his young daughters while being president? Was their young and influential age ever brought into the dialogue? What about Kerry's children? Gore's? Do they even have children? I don't know - because it wasn't an issue. Yet news reporters on top rated morning news shows seem to see fit to ask whether or not Sarah Palin can be a good mother while racing to the White House. They are asking if she considered how her children would be affected. Every mother I've ever met agonizes over every choice she makes regarding her children. Everything from the type of labor you want to have to where you send your kids to school, if you work, how much you work, your relationship with your spouse, where you live, what kind of car you drive, everything, big and little, is questioned for how it will affect your child. To ask if Sarah Palin can be a good mom while running for VP is to insinuate that she is not a good mom because what you are saying with that question is that she hasn't asked herself that. And she is really the only person who needs to ask that of herself. Her and her husband. And no, just because she is a public figure does not give us the right to ask-Barack Obama put it best when he said children were off limits. No one has the right to tell me to breast feed or use formula, to work or to stay at home, to put my children in public or private school, to spank or not to spank, what age I should allow dating, what my children should wear, or any number of other decisions that a parent must debate. And I certainly do not have the right to tell another mom what to do. And certainly not to judge her if she does something different than I do. We need to stop focusing so much on what other people shouldn't do and start focusing on what we ourselves should do. Care for others. Provide for those in need. Love the people around you. Be a good neighbor. I hope that all this controversy has died down and the media will focus on issues such as the war and the economy, health care and education-things we should really be talking about, not things that are none of our business. A former presidential candidate once said that it takes a village to raise a child. With the new vice presidential candidate we've certainly learned that it also takes a village to judge the mother on how to raise that child.
4 comments:
I agree. Parenthood should be off the table. And you're right, it is because she is a woman. It makes me sad that thousands of people will base their vote on her life and their opinion of it (either way they vote) instead of the issues that a president actually gets to make important decisions about.
Well said. Seriously, what year do we live in anyway? I agree, sweet little Evy is perfect ;-)
Love the controversial stuff! If you can't express yourself in your blog, where on earth can you do it?! Besides sitting around with Bard. :-)
I knew when you were pregnant that we would do everything in our power to help you deal victoriously with whatever happened with that sweet little baby. And, having experienced the joy of having two babies myself and knowing you and Bard, I had no doubts about how much you two would love and care for her no matter what, and how much we would love the perfect gift God sent.
As far as Sarah Palin goes, I am also disgusted by all the questions about her fitness for office that would never be asked of a man. However, having seen the rise of feminism over the years, radical, helpful and not so helpful, and enough political wrangling to be in danger of becoming a complete cynic, I must say that some of the criticism and the questions about her future adequacy/competency as VP stem not only from the fact that she is a woman, but also from what she believes. Liberal feminists are faced with a successful woman who has broken that glass ceiling in her state and been elected governor, and has a very high approval rating at that, but who is adamantly pro-life, among other things. They find that extremely offensive. There's actually a good article in the Economist about that. On the other hand, if she was liberal, the conservatives would be criticizing her and asking the "family values" questions. The media has to talk about something and they have always been good at poking their noses where they shoudn't go. Good grief, yap yap yap. Where a candidate stands on the issues, what they have done in the past and what their plans are for dealing with the problems we face are key. Have they worked hard for the people they serve? We also need to assess their character based on their past choices as much as possible, since that will have direct bearing on how they will handle the pressures of high office and how they will deal with important issues. What kind of person are they and how do they assess problems? Can they inspire us as a country to be united and help each other? Can they build consensus? What is their record? I will certainly not vote for a woman just because she's a woman and I resent it when the media pundits assume I will. Give me a break! I want to see someone, man or woman, who has been faithful in what God has already given them in life, who has good character, who makes choices on the issues that I can support as much as possible and who has the leadership skills to succeed in high office. And honestly, filtering through all the media hype and info can be a huge task. Anyway, no matter who wins this election, Evelyn will still be perfect, and Sarah's little Trig will still be perfect too.
Good post, Kristin.
Interesting side bar on the media: Mareesha and I haven't had TV for over 2 years now. I get my news through newspapers online. Last night I was at a conference and stayed in a hotel. As I browsed the news channels (CNN, MSNBC, FOX) I was SHOCKED by how little news (if any) they actually reported. They all seemed more like the Nat'l Enquirer than news to me. I agree with everything you mentioned about voting on issues, unfortunately our media is more focused on bashing Palin's parenting because that's what seems to be getting people to watch.
I'm so happy we don't have TV...
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