Christmas 2019

Although 2019 has been filled with many tremendous accomplishments, I must admit, I am not at all sorry to see it go. And the 20s are roaring in, with so many new beginnings for us this year, our theme is one of transition-finding the same amid the change.

This year I finished my Nonprofit Certificate at UW, left my job at the Tacoma Art Museum and started a new position, with LeMay-America’s Car Museum. I’m coordinating a program that connects schools with museum field trips and classroom visits, focusing on giving students in underserved communities more STEAM opportunities. Re-entering the work force has been a huge transition for our whole family. Bard has been able to start working from home two days a week to ease us in and his steadiness has been an eye in the storm of change for our family.

Speaking of our theme, Evelyn takes the cake with transitioning from private to public school AND starting middle school! In true Evelyn fashion, she is bemused by my assumption that this would be difficult and shrugs off questions with a “Mom” (spoken with two syllables and sometimes an eye roll!) She loves school, her teachers love her, and right now she is busily working on her research project-bomb sniffing rats. Ugh. Anyway, a starring role in Seussical the Musical over the summer, performing with our studio’s dance team, spraining (not breaking!) her arm, and taking up the oboe for band class round out Evelyn’s year. Transition? What transition?!

Not to be out done, Cecilia also made the switch to public school. This has been such a great (and long time coming) decision for our family. But I was a little worried as to how my introverted, slightly anxious, and all the way feisty middle child would handle such a big step. Not to minimize how hard she worked to adjust to a new school, but I was so relieved at the apparent ease in which she jumped in and made new friends, mastered a different school environment, and maintained a good attitude! She loves her new teacher, has added acro classes to her dance repertoire, and is just one inch short of being able to do splits on both her right and left legs! But most importantly, Cici is thriving, less anxious in a more supportive environment, and is comfortable with her ability to be herself in new situations.

Now, if you really want to hear how Max’s kindergarten transition has gone, you should probably have a MA in psychology and also buy me a stiff drink. But in lieu of that happening, I’ll see if I can sum it up for you. Awful. Awful. Want more? Okay…specialists, lawyers, principal’s office, six IEP meetings, countless calls and emails, never-ending sleepless nights, tears, tears, tears. And through it all we are continually blessed by the beautiful people who surround Max and love on him through his trauma, through his varying abilities. They believe that he can be more than who his past tries to trap him into being, and they call him to grow toward a future of hope, love, and strength.  Max is actually the most perfect picture of how we all handle transitions. We might make it look prettier on the outside, but on the inside, we are often a mess too. But if we persist, if we fight, and if we show one ounce of the determination that Max uses each and every day, we can overcome more than we know.

I added a new tattoo this year, a phoenix rising with all different phrases about Rising Up interwoven amid the tail feathers (don’t worry, you know the Hamilton lyrics are there too!) But recently I’ve been reminded of my tattoo for Max, “Love Never Fails.” The thing about the concept of unfailing love is that it assumes love can fail. And it can. We don’t like to admit it, but when we are stressed, when people make us angry, when we are overwhelmed and under-supported, love can fail. But it doesn’t have to, and, it’s not meant to. Love that never fails is something that is outside of us, something that is bigger than us and is not defined by our circumstances. Transitions come and go; but Love never changes. And when we are confronted with trying times, unloving people, and we want to give up, we can overcome. Because Love never gives up on us.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.